Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
