I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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