I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
