No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
