What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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