This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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