video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
