I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
