There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
do nipples grow back?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
