He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
