Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
