k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
