There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
