New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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