Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We named our party play list daddy issues
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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