WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
In America we eat man semen.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize