she was so not down for the gang bang
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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