So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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