Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Randomize
