Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
