Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
