it's too hot outside to masturbate.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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