He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
