i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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