Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
