Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
