Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
