shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
