I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
