Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
North Korea, Best Korea!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
