quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
