I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize