you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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