Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
