just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
