Your mouth is God's brothel.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
