she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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