I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
