Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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