hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
