Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
