Sponge bath it is.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize