he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
