babies were throwing up all over the place
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
