like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
