btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
