she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
