I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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