Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
