I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
