I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's rum buckets o'clock
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
