Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
