Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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