we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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