Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
