I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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