So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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