new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
