I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize