but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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