I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
