Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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