Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
