It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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