I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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