I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
