Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
