1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
