I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
