Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Shame - the story of my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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