I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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