She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
