I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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