we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
