Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
