Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
