somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
