He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
