New low: just hacked my moms facebook
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
